It's called hot and heavy?

how the hell did this happen. I couldn't write earlier, but now I think I can. You know what I hate, you can be the world's best soldier ever, and still die from the worlds worst soldier by a via gun. I could (never will) write an award winning novel right here, and no one would know. I haven't had a good day today but it's not the kind of bad day I can really write about. I like to think of myself as a confident person, but not every situation can really have a confident spin on it. Everything is always better in hindsight, but why is that. Why do people set unreasonable expectations from the past on their present. I know this is about me, I can blame other people for things, but if I enjoy or do not enjoy my life that is all me. I don't know where to go from here. I feel like I improve in one area of my life and then realize I need work somewhere else where I thought things were going well. Anyway I long for the old days with my pet paanda, and his toad friend.