Covered in cowardice

Summer ends in 5 or 6 days, and our first game is this friday in west Va. and im not starting. Im not gonna say it was anyone's fault but mine, because it was. I play middle linebacker, and the coaches pretty much left the door open for me and i couldn't do it. The first scrimmage i got tore up by all the tackles, i missed the running back 3 times, and i think i only got one tackle (althouth i did stop him right before he got to the inzone) By that time my bubble was popped though, next practice the moved a defensive end ( who played MLB last year) back. Now theres no hope of me working to beat this guy out , he could really play like crap and the coaches would still start him, he doesn't but he could, so i've been looking at some of the things i do wrong

-i studder, and go eastwest and not down hill, leaving myself open for offensive tackles to bash me around, also preventing me from getting to the ball quick

- when i tackle, i do three things wrong,
I go full speed and slow down about 2 feet from the hit
I close my eyes before contact, i dont think im scared its just habit
I lower my head because of this i think (really bad thing could kill me)

- I go 3 quarter speed, dont persuit sometimes(i've gotten better at both of these) Im not the fastest guy on the team, i need to go full speed everytime.

- I suck at reading keys, but im getting better, i look at what direction the gaurds headed and then look to the full back to doublecheck.

Thats about it, I've been thinking alot about this, so i decided if i wrote it down i could always check to see what i've got better at.